♥

2011-12-19T13:55:00.001+08:00

Christmas plus end of the year sale is here. And i have been more busier than ever. Having my official rest before i sign in later at 6pm and work for closing. Feeling all the backaches but i know this will be worth my pay.

Ive been doing good, keeping myself occupied and spending as much time with friends. I am enjoying myself being alone and truthly it is actually not so bad at all. Cos i get to do alot of things on my own without having to think of another's feelings. So i am enjoying my life as much as i want to. Before, i remember i was serious about settling down. After all that has happened, i have no thoughts about being settled. I wanna be free and its the only thing i wanna have right now.

New year is coming to an end. 2011 did me good at the start but not so at the nearing end. I wanna close the books for 2011 and start anew to 2012. Come what may, im looking forward to something new.

Anyway some pictures of my recent time spend with friends. Have a good monday peeps.

2011-11-18T00:49:00.001+08:00

i have been coping with school at the moment. assignments are piling up and i am definitely am 2 or 3 assignments left behind. but this also motivates me to buck up abit and i really cannot wait to graduate soon.

work later on and i have been thinking whether is it time i should transfer out of store? i mean i have been too long in tampines and same time i need a new exposure. i was thinking of town area,but should i leave now or later on? but part of me told me to just stay and then move on to a better job when im fully ready to start work as an adult.

being an adult sucks,definitely. the burden that we need to carry and face everyday, i just wish i would grow older S L O W E R. :/

and to the comments, i dont give a fuck about any of it. it takes more than just words to bring me down. if you wanna say something,please say it to me personally. :) otherwise,yawwwnnn try harder!

kept me in sane.

2011-11-14T08:27:00.001+08:00

Besides my family, i owe it to my friends for keeping me sane, for putting a smile on my face when im at my lowest times. You all mean so much to me. Even though i dont share much on whats been going on in my life to most of my friends, but you all made me smile in lots of ways and i thank you for that :)

My mum has been the nicest woman ever. Supporting me in any decision i made. I will never trade for any better mum. Shes the best for me, always.

To the friends that put on a smile, i thank you for this. Theres more than just this in pictures, to the people i didnt get to take pictures with, what the hell am i doing with my phone when im with you guys?! Teehee :)

fool me once,shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

2011-11-12T02:02:00.001+08:00

i dont really blog about my relationship, some of the time i do, but not always. i rather people ask me about hows my relationship with someone and then i will tell it from there. i mean, its better to hear out from me in person than to let untrue stories to be spread. but now i need my own space to type down what i feel, i cant hold anything that i feel any longer. i need to let it out. and this is my personal space, and i dont need any judgement. what goes here,ends here.

alright,so here goes. i got out of a 2 year 5 months relationship after so long of being with someone i loved. well, i loved the guy who i presume would be different, would make me happy, someone who i thought i trust despite being busy,despite being caught up with life, would never do to an extent to hurt me. im 20, at the age whereby im already done with bullshitting with love,i wanna be serious, i wanna settle down with someone, not entirely settle down as in going to an extent of marriage, what i meant is no fooling around. i admit i was dumb, a fool to give my everything, but you cant blame me for i believe in sacrifising. if you love someone, you would do anything, everything for them, true? well, thats what i thought. not till i found out the guy who i never thought would hurt me, never thought who will played me at least, is doing the things that i assume it wont happen. honestly, till this day, i am deeply hurt, my trust was being misused completely, i feel like a piece of shit to be honest, but i cant change whats done,neither can i hope for anything to be better.

i was sincere, i didnt even misuse his trust, i did what a girlfriend should do. but maybe its not entirely his fault. maybe i didnt understand what he wanted, maybe i wasnt understanding enough. but, hey, who could resist not meeting the boyfriend for more than 2 weeks when the time you can meet was being spent on something else? and your conversations are always made short. and when you expected for just a day to spend together,nothing happen. instead, your kindness was taken for granted. i was way too kind to understand him going out with 'people' even as much as i was insecure of who he was with at times. i mean, who wouldnt? you dont know the person, more mainly a girl,never heard of a girl they are out with before and suddenly they go out and you the girlfriend got to be okay? is it fair for me? do i still need to be okay and understand? of cos i got to have my say. but my say is never heard,never even considered,feelings never even been cared about. i still go on agreeing despite half heartedly thinking its not a good idea of me to agree, but cos i trust him,hence i put that trust. what did i get? being fooled with.

i feel used honestly and i will never forget cos this is by far the worst that im going through. when he was busy with school, knowing that hes in a course which is tough and competitive, even if he couldnt spend his time with me, never once my feelings changed. of cos i do feel sad at times when he cant get to meet me, but i always think, once he graduate this is for the better of him, insyaAllah i get to be a part of this happiness of him graduating with a good future. and i was trying to understand his time even when i couldnt adjust to his way of time with his life, i did understand and even so, i never left him. i was still there supporting him.

i feel horrible emotionally, i was being left without any proper closure, and even when i was being left, the words said was just useless words, words of lies. even so i still believed cos i figured, i dont think he would want to lie even when breaking up. again, i was wrong. i had to find things out myself and even i had friends telling me the hard truth. i cried like ive never cried before, i was emotionally down. i skip school for a few times cos i feel bothered. yes, i was bothered. i didnt wanna tell anyone anything till im ready to talk. see, even so i still kept it low,on what he had done. but when i tell him how i feel via calls or text, i was being brushed off. calls - excuses, tired. texts - no reply. i felt like i was doing alone to save this relationship cos i dont know what i did wrong. but now i realize, ive done nothing wrong. i dont deserve to be lied, fooled,cheated on. and i believe whats done will come back round to him one day.

ive no loss neither ive no gain. i did lost someone i love but same time i guess i lost it for my own good. now that i know the truth,everything about him in my point of view changes instantly. 2 years 5 months, the things that we go through, the times that i wasted on, the money i wasted on, the love i wasted on for the right person turn out to be the wrong person. 2 years 5 months i forgive many times on anything he did, keep giving myself chances with this relationship cos i love him,i love us,i treasured him,i treasured us. i keep working it out cos i want this. but, sadly he doesnt.

its sad that i had no proper closure to this relationship. neither did the other thought of giving this another try maybe not now but in future. its sad that i hoped he would change his mind but clearly i didnt matter. he let go everything, giving me excuse that doesnt make sense, didnt cared about me at all and barely a month of break up, already has someone else. yeah, truth told. i rarely lie, i hate lying to people. same goes with holding a grudge.

i cant be seeing someone who i actually really love going on with someone else, and i have to 'act' normal. i think what i have gone through is enough to make me feel hurt. i am already emotionally hurt real bad, i dont need anymore of it. not even a lie. one day when the person who im referring to decides to talk to me, and have me back in his life even as a friend, it takes more than just words, more than just an apology to do so. cos what ive gone through has seriously gone beyond my every limit of trust. i cant deal with it anymore, i need to get away from being hurt.

i have always love the boy whom i spend my 2 years plus of relationship with. i wished for more years but sadly it ended in an abrupt way. till today,i admit, none of my feelings changed, its hard to let go of something you've been in for too long. and its even harder to let go of it when you know you did nothing wrong. if all the bullshit didnt happen, i guess we would still go on as fine till now. but of cos my thoughts about how he is has changed. i love this relationship, i love the boy who i was in love with but i guess i was the only one who took this relationship for real. yeah, i got to understand he still rather wanna enjoy life, but this is rather not a good excuse to hurt me this way.

maybe one day my heart will forgive him and if he comes back and with guidance from allah, maybe i will open up my heart to him again. for now, im done. i believe in trust. and my trust has been misused and scarred. i am very afraid to fall in love, im afraid that im gonna fall in love with the wrong person again. im afraid to love hard anymore, cos i love this relationship too much till i got hurt myself. i dont need another guy to make me happy, i am fine with my life as it is with friends and family. all that i have in my mind is to graduate and see where i should be heading after this. ive been lacking behind in school but im not too late to catch up.

its sad that 29 months together just went to waste. i did not regret knowing him, i regretted wasting my time with him. and i will never throw something that could have meant to be as easy as throwing a tissue paper to a bin(metaphor). its not easy, but i will somehow, be fine, with or without him. least i know the truth, thats what matters. but i will protect my heart before i get hurt again even more. i just wanna be alone and let time heal me.

to the guy who mean so much to me, im sorry if i have been difficult at times, and remember that i have always loved you. cos im letting go of you just for you to be happy. i will see you when our paths meet again.

Flea market

2011-11-06T00:50:00.001+08:00

Did not regret going for flea market at scape on a saturday. Got myself a top for 5 bucks, a steal. Great day spent with this ladies, though i was abit quiet today due to lack of sleep.

Saturday

2011-11-05T12:14:00.001+08:00

Greetings earthlings! Its a saturday and im all geared up for flea market. Going there with hafezza, its been a while since i hung out with her :)

Rainy friday.

2011-11-04T15:06:00.001+08:00

I am happy to say that im blogging through my iphone, hehe. Its a rainy friday and right now i am in the cab making my way to meet my sister in law for lunch and coffee. I am very blessed to have an amazing sister in law like her. I have so many things to post about but im finding the right words on where to start. In my mind now im thinking about my bed and the things i can do in this weather. Okay not things, just one thing : sleep! But, shall appreciate friday as its not always ITE gets holiday which falls on a friday. Okay, gotta bounce. Meanwhile, TGIF to you guys! :)

2011-10-14T01:28:00.001+08:00

i will leave everyone soon a very lengthy "mak nenek" post. for now, i need to collect the pictures that i wanna post up here. and also to get my feelings right before i post anything wrong.

for now, be safe, work hard, party harder.

2011-09-29T01:30:00.001+08:00

honestly, i am thankful towards my brother for giving me the oppurtunity to catch formula 1 live at its action. despite the noise, i am still in shock that im here. and i get to see the concerts, the practice for the race ( since i went on the first day ) and feeling the atmosphere. thank you abang sham, you're seriously the best brother i have ever had. my brother is a fan of formula 1 hence he went for all 3 days! how crazy is that!

pictures taken with canon 500D 55-250mm lens.

30%

2011-09-23T02:35:00.005+08:00

cotton on,cotton on body,rubi,typo,t-bar are having 30% off storewide for all regular priced items! come on down before the offer ends! offer officially starts today!

dont say i didnt warn ya ;)

zirca

2011-09-23T02:32:00.001+08:00

ladies night at zirca on wednesday! it was DJ kennerve spinning. though some of the songs was horrible to dance to but beat got better in the middle of the night. star,miera and i were dancing at the center stage podium,directly infront of the DJ! dj pointed to me twice. nice dude he was really. its nice to be away from reality and just dance your heart out with 2 of your closest friends with you.

this was the cute guy who was dancing at the left side of the podium! so cute i swear. i absolutely love guys wearing blazer! he smiled at me and of cos i smiled back. hell no i didnt dance with any guy, mind heart and soul was still towards the boyfriend of mine. going there for the music and pure clean fun!

alright,work later on during the day! oh well :/

selamat hari raya aidilfitri dari kami, ex-damaian.

2011-09-23T02:12:00.000+08:00

14 September 2011, was the day whereby all of us secondary school friends gathered to go for our raya visits! 3 cars to 11 houses! we ended everything by 1am. afterwhich, we seek forgiveness and bersalaman and hug each other. honestly, i miss my friends so much hence it was nice to be with them on this day and have all the laughter we have. with them, i can be my true slumber self. and we dont even care how we eat,sit or even talk. end of the day our friendship matters most and im proud to have most of them as my friends for the past 6,8years and one of them whom im friends since primary school for 13 years! hows that for true friendship? ;)

like i told some of them, i really hope all of us are still close like this till we all see each other get married! i love them all, you have no idea how much i cherish everyone of them. theres more friends whom i cherish though some of them are not in this gathering cos 1) some of the people who i treasure too arent of the same classes as us 2) this raya was actually meant for the former sec 4a3 class and 3) of cos i never forget the others who arent in the same class! you know who you people are!

so heres the pictures to our raya outing ( i finally uploaded the pictures in the blog! picture size are too big! hence the long waited post!) BERDAMAILAH (bermaafan) di hari raya ini!

taken with yours truly - canon 500D 18-55lens, with extended macro lens.

2011-09-16T04:13:00.001+08:00

gonna sleep with haddy's jacket. thanks to him for passing it to me earlier on at CDC cos he was too lazy to carry it. but, i like the fact that his jacket has his particular smell. makes me feel his presence is close to me. and with that, i declare that i am going to sleep like a babi! gonna jog later in the morning and i shall blog about my raya with my secondary school friends ;)

2011-09-16T04:02:00.004+08:00

this was on thursday 15 september 2011 in the evening when dhamirah asyraf and i decided to accompany dhamirah to Ubi CDC to renew her ftt. there i met my lonesome boyfriend who was having his etrial test and i surprised him with subway. after dhamirah renew her ftt test,we drove to town. danial and faiz joined us to town and we all had supper at east coast park. overall, thanks for the ride asyraf! and thanks for the laughter you guys! love you all tremendously.

2011-09-13T05:35:00.000+08:00

above pictures happened on the eve of hari raya,yes the last day of puasa. it was rather a last minute plan but im happy to be able to meet the boys to geylang on the last night of puasa. bought food, search the whole of geylang for my mum's frame ( facial expression : -.-" ) walk around geylang, finally gave haddy my cookies ( yes i baked them myself. i prefer baking than cooking ) then to simpang after that for late supper.

thanks to faiz for sending me back home even at 5am in the morning! appreciate it brah ;)

2011-09-13T05:12:00.002+08:00

if you are wondering when is this, well this was after first day of raya! yes, despite the fact that he has attachment work the next day, the boy came down to meet me and do his assignment. how proud am i of him? very proud. ive never seen him work hard for his studies. and to see him doing it, i must say, i am impressed. this was if im not mistaken, about 2plus am in the morning after first day of raya. this was also the period whereby my body is slowly starting to feel weak cos i fell sick on the afternoon of second day of raya, the moment i wake up from my sleep. again, how sad. :(

fyi, ive never fell sick on any raya before. this is the first :(

turquoise.

2011-09-13T04:59:00.001+08:00

eid mubarak 2011.

this sums up my family. and yes, now you believe that im the only daughter and the youngest in the family?

if you are wondering, why is mirza ( my nephew ) isnt in this picture? now here's why.

mirza is my cousin's son. my mum willingly with open heart wants to take care of mirza after the passing of my late aunt. if my aunt was in great health of cos my aunt will take care of him. but since my aunt pass away when mirza was 2-3 months old, my mum decided to take him. firstly, its convenient for my cousin to pick mirza up at the end of the day due to the fact that we both live at the same area, tampines.

secondly, its hard to trust maids nowadays, how they take care of your own child. its best to let your child being taken care of with someone you really know, someone from your own blood.

of cos, that doesnt mean we dont love mirza as much. we love him equally the same. in fact, my parents are crazy about mirza. a day without him and my parents are already calling my cousin asking him what is he doing. i too would text my cousin asking her to send me a picture of mirza just to see what is he up to. we all love mirza very much.

what a grown up he is eh? :) hes turning 2 years old next month 14 october :)

see what i mean when my parents love him? just look at the smiles on my parents face!

now hold on there, of cos i will not forget about my very own flesh and blood, my own niece,alesha. now this is my first brother's daughter. my brother and my sister-in-law love her so much. why wont they be? it took them 8 PATIENT YEARS to finally been given a wonderful gift from allah s.w.t and that is my niece, alesha quraisyah ;)

see what i mean? such a wonderful gift from god. in fact the cutest thing ive ever seen! and her big eyes? she follows me :D (im proud to say this cos it is true)

that sums up my day of raya. dad's siblings came to house on first day of raya to visit my dad. only in the late evening we rushed to my aunt's house from my mum's side to visit my grandmother and seek forgiveness from her. and the next day was the day that i fell horribly sick! so my parents went rayaing without me :( how sad.

hows your raya so far? i couldnt be more than happy to celebrate it with an additional member in my family. 2 members in fact. alesha and mirza! :)

Ungu - Tercipta Untukku

2011-09-13T03:30:00.000+08:00

on my wedding day, this is one of the songs that i want it to be played. sigh, the most sweetest heartfelt song ever. indonesian songs are way way better to listen to. my boyfriend, my husband must know that one of my most favourite song is this.

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang menyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Pasti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku....

flu and cough, go away!

2011-09-12T21:08:00.003+08:00

its been a week plus since im sick. how unfortunate of me to fall sick on the second day of raya. with that, i stayed at home, curled up in bed and let fever set me in. despite seeing the doctor, took me days to finally wear off the fever. till this day im still having the flu and cough. im hoping that i will be better in time to come. theres few events coming up for me, one of it is jalan raya with the 5a3 secondary schoolmates this coming wednesday. excited? yes. cos its been a while since i met them.

i shall post pictures later on tonight of past events few days back. ( yes despite me saying im sick, i still do head out after i recovered from my fever. fever is the only thing that makes me weak. flu and cough is a small matter )

now back to where i was, dear flu and cough, you've been in me for too long already. its time for you to pass on the bug to someone else. sincerely, me.

Be the trend setter and get your friends to hop on board with #ChurpChurp! :)

2011-09-12T20:57:00.000+08:00

Join #ChurpChurp! :) and be rewarded for sharing campaigns. Its real :)

not a scam, alot of bloggers are using Churpchurp :)

salam lebaran.

2011-08-30T22:09:00.003+08:00

on this festive month, i would like to wish everyone selamat hari raya! if ever i have hurt anyone in any way be it verbally or emotionally, i hope you would be able to forgive me and forget about whatever thats past :)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
mohon maaf zahir dan batin :)

2011-08-26T01:47:00.005+08:00

i had something in mind to update but the moment im at the posting page i suddenly forgot what i was about to type. this always happens to me nowadays. i dont know whats up with me and the short term memory. i can only conclude that im getting older hence the more forgetful i am. sucks when days im late for school and i forgot about my phone, i search for it high and low when all along my phone was in my pocket. its frustrating, makes me feel stupid and waste few minutes of my life for nothing.

dear hair, oh please grow longer. i would love to have more curls to you.

ahh i better call this post a day. shall text the love of my life, have my predawn meal and then sleep. speaking of love, i miss him very very much! attachment,please end. :( holidays,where are you?!

2011-08-26T01:01:00.003+08:00

my boyfriend once asked me when we whatsapp few weeks ago about what i wanna do in future. since hes going somewhere with his dreams on becoming a nurse, hes curious of what i wanna do. he knows i love events management and would want to pursue but what if it backfires? what i wanna do besides that?

to be honest, i have no idea. if you ask me, i would give you straight to the face answer, I DUNNO. i do have some options but i dont wish to say anything here yet, in fear what if one day it wont happen too. i need to start thinking, time is ticking away and within 6 months more,im graduating from higher nitec. i do need to plan out what i want to do. should i full time work and part time school? or should i full time school and part time work like what im doing now?

questions questions questions.

2011-08-26T00:52:00.004+08:00

i suck at eyeshadow make up. believe me, the one thing i hate doing is eyeshadow. i am overall a plain girl. its just powder,eyeliner,lipstick,gloss and done. but cos its hari raya hence i decided to get my brushes to use again. not so bad after a long time of not playing around with my eyeshadow palette. of cos this took me a dreadful 1 hour just to get green/turquoise colour.

now for the more dreadful part, removing make up from the face. oh no :(

same person to give me butterflies in the stomach feeling.

2011-08-24T03:57:00.009+08:00

alhamdullilah, i can say despite the age difference, the arguments we had, the times we felt like giving up ( and no giving up doesnt mean breaking up, giving up means we dont wanna deal with each other at the moment ) we managed to put our differences aside time and time, forgive and forget, always making things up to make this relationship between us better. we're both happy.

i can see us in the long run. but lets not think too far. at the moment im happy with where we are now. and by far, this is the longest relationship we both ever had, haha. thats a congrats to us! knowing at this age, its difficult to get a relationship last, this is the age whereby most teens are either fooling around, in search for no serious relationships just temporary companion, but im thankful after 2 years plus hes still here for me. and im still here for him. and we're both still very slumber, still asal boleh.

thank you haddy khairul aqma, for being a wonderful companion and being at your best to be an understanding loving boyfriend. despite your tight up schedule on nursing school, you didnt give up this relationship for studies. im thankful cos you told me you want me to be a part of this stressful phase in your life cos you need me in it thats why :) im glad you know i will be your supporter,cheering you on to succeed. this is your dream and i want your dreams to come true no matter how difficult it can be. even if i have to drive you crazy calling you umpteen times to wake up and go school, i will do it. cos i do not want you to regret every moment in your life furfilling your dreams.

what future has for us, we will never know. but if allah is blessing us with something bigger in this relationship in future, im ready for it. come what may, as long as he loves me thats what matters. ;)

The Big Bang Theory-Howard's Indian Accent[HD]

2011-08-24T02:49:00.001+08:00

I dont understand why alot of people are not watching The Big Bang Theory. You're missing out one of the most hilarious sitcom here! My perceptive of nerds change thanks to this show!

cleanse our hearts.

2011-08-24T01:37:00.004+08:00

there are times whereby theres problems in my life with a particular person and i cant stand when other people who arent involved rub in the matter to make it more worse and all i want to do is go to these other people and ask, whats your fucking problem? and by doing this 1) the person has cross my line 2) testing my patience 3) make me wanna say a whole lot of shit to them 4) will lead to unneccesary argument with people not involved.

but of cos i am not an animal trying to attack someone without asking why they doing so. i would ask first and then its up to me to decide whether should i talk it out or move on from the matter and ignore them completely or just forgive and forget without the person's apology - just let it go cos i cant be bothered with the matter anymore.

i am a strong believer in forgive and forget. to me, if you cant forgive, you can never forget. time to time we will have arguments with people that we know or our loved ones. and in order to move on from the matter, you got to solve in most humanly way possible ( and not physically attack someone or verbally abuse them ) and when i meant that, i meant talking it out. dish out what you're unhappy about and then come to mutual terms to forgive each other and rekindle the relationship with the person just to forget from the previous matter.

im not perfect. we all arent perfect. we make mistakes, we say the most spiteful things without giving a thought to what we said. our actions can hurt people one way or another. we let our anger rule us over. whatever it all may be, a simple sorry would change a whole lot of difference to a situation. of cos it cant be only one party to do it, its got to be both parties to do it. even if one party feels they aint at fault, its always thoughtful to apologize and hope whatever has happen wont repeat again.

forgive while you still can. just saying the word " im sorry " would mean a whole lot to anyone of us. and when you say you're sorry, make sure you meant them sincerely and with that no more of rude replies from one another but making things up by being nice to one another again. its no big deal. if you can kiss and make up in love, surely you can with other loved ones and friends!

but, if you have repeated issues with someone over and over, if both cant find a way to solve matters, the best thing to do is let it all go, move on, dont think about the past matters anymore and just be apart from the person. sometimes we arent fated to be friends with someone no matter how much we try to save a friendship. the least, be thankful you know them and they were once a part of your lives. the nicest mutual relationship you can have with a person is be an acquitance to them. you know when you bump to them, its a HI and BYE kind of situation. its still better than being strangers, true? :)

#my thoughts on forgiveness and overcoming failed friendships :)

adir kaisan!

2011-08-23T12:07:00.005+08:00

people always mistook me to be in a relationship with this guy. when actual fact hes my closest guy friend. or as he term, "my sundal girl friend" (sundal in our term means bestest) and hes close to both haddy and i. (hes haddy's closest friend and bandmate) if it werent for JBS, i wouldnt have met haddy, i wouldnt have met adir. i wouldnt know 2 wonderful people in my life. so to clear the doubts, adir is not my boyfriend! #period

2011-08-23T12:05:00.000+08:00

guess who i met at baybeats 2011? :)

geylang madness.

2011-08-23T04:09:00.003+08:00

this is a preview of how crazy geylang is on a friday night in the month of ramadhan. how heavily congested the place is with vehicles and crowd.

taken with canon 500D, 18-55mm lens.

2011-08-22T02:18:00.003+08:00

i think i love babies completely now. i used to dislike babies. i hate to hear them cry. i get annoyed when they run around. but with the presence of mirza and alesha in my life i suddenly have a soft spot for kids. the both of them are sinfully cute i tell you. especially alesha, whenever she sees me she will go all smiley and jumpy to see me. its as though she hasnt seen me for a year or something. and that feeling makes me so happy cos a baby who can barely speak just words of 'mamam' ,'kakak' and barely even learn how to walk properly can already recognize someone in her life. and with that the both of us are really close. too close till she doesnt care if shes out with me alone.

i love you alesha. please dont grow up too fast. seeing mirza growing up makes me feel sad cos hes gonna learn and face this cruel world too soon. :/

2011-08-20T16:43:00.003+08:00

rare moments of me taking pictures using my webcam because im extremely bored and alone at home. waiting for sister-in-law to call before i head out to novena.

baybeats was great yesterday. i am starstruck with arajua's lead singer. his voice is sore, you know like the malays described it ' serak serak basah' sigh. would love to have that kind of voice sing to me every night.

okay im kidding. still love my rapper boyfriend to bits.
alright gotta bounce.

2011-08-20T14:32:00.002+08:00

attitude at the moment.

2011-08-12T02:33:00.006+08:00

cant wait to see my man soon :)

USS.

2011-08-12T02:16:00.001+08:00

universal studios, i would love to meet you again.

2011-08-12T01:50:00.006+08:00

miss these 2 babygirls. laziness,work,school is taking a huge role in my life at the moment. and when i reach home, all i want to do is be in bed and watch seasons to seasons of f.r.i.e.n.d.s.

2011-08-07T07:28:00.002+08:00

i totally can see haddy in this. hes not the sort of person who express well to his feelings for someone he really love be it family friends or even me. but if he say it, i know he meant it well. and even if he says omg just like the above, i know he meant it deep from his heart :) :)

2011-08-03T03:28:00.001+08:00

It’s cold putting up a fight, Arguing back and forth through the night, Regardless what I said and I don’t mean most of it, You know I really love you, this the realest goin’ get - TYGA.

2011-08-01T21:53:00.000+08:00

i so cant wait for you to be able to walk alesha. im gonna bring you out shopping for sure! and we shall drag the lazy uncle haddy out and we gonna bully him. but knowing you alesha you love boys so you would probably love him more than you love me. hmmm :(

2011-07-30T02:22:00.002+08:00

If you can find the time
To give your love to me
I will wait for you
If that's all you need
If you can find the time
If ever you're free
Just drop me a line
And tell me where you'll be
I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere
If you can find the time
I'll wait for you
But if you can't find the time
Then cut me loose

Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide
I'm stuck here suffocating
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it

My bleeding heart won't make it

If you can find the time
To give your love to me
Just drop me a line
And tell me where you'll be
I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere

Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide
I'm stuck here suffocating
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it

I'll be right here
If you can find the time
Just be sincere
If you can find the time
I, I'll wait for you
But if you can't find the time
Then cut me loose

Cause I don't have the time
And I don't have the patience
What do you take me for?
Why am I still waiting?
Cause while you decide
I'm stuck here suffocating
Cause if you can't find the time
My bleeding heart won't make it

Cause I don't have the time
My bleeding heart won't make it

2-0.

2011-07-22T02:58:00.005+08:00

being 20 still feels weird to me. im suppose to feel its a new phase to life cos im definitely am not in my teens anymore. im now a twenteen (okay twenty whatever) but i still feel that im 18 and this crazy self of me desperately wants to come out.

21 birthday will be a big birthday that i would like to celebrate huge.

thank you to all the people who wished me on my bday :) im so touched by all the warm wishes.

happy 20th to me!

yes,sudah meningkat untuk menjadi lebih tua. got to watch out for cellulites! yikes!

2011-07-16T01:32:00.004+08:00

JULIESCARY, i steal this picture from your blog because
1) we look irritating here
2) we both look small
3) this pictures tells us that we are definitely not ready to be 20!

♥

honeyrockers.

2011-07-13T13:26:00.002+08:00

gonna get this top for my next pay. $31.90 its a steal! been dying to have something like this! its a must get for me! (drools)

JoJo - 'Marvin's Room (Can't Do Better)' [Official]

2011-07-09T03:30:00.000+08:00

listen to this in a quiet room. blast this up and feel to every lyrics.
im feeling to it.

alesha quraisyah.

2011-07-09T02:25:00.003+08:00

the princess in the family. my cousin said, 'jamilah, your princess tittle has officially been taken over.'

SUCKS BUT I GOT TO AGREE. am no longer the pampered child in the family anymore.

my beloved niece. daughter to my first brother and sister-in-law. shes 9 months old now. so cute. must squash her face for being this cute.

2011-07-07T05:02:00.006+08:00

"the days whereby you call your boyfriend and you rant to him about your day within one breath and he will be there to not only hear but listens to everything (well even if it aint everything but almost seems good enough too right?) you say. the moments when the random text messages from the boyfriend telling you how much they value you and the relationship or saying they have plans made for the both of you. days whereby he brings you to beaches or parks and just sit,talk and having conversations with one another and feel the closeness between each other. it is never about gifts or eating to restaurants or everyday meet ups. small little thoughts even if its a text message would definitely make any girl and even a guy happy. it is always important to show to one another how much you value them and love them in your life. this what makes the relationship constantly going and healthy"

when i read this, i realize i dont remember when was the last time ive felt all of the above. believe me, i totally forget how it feels. :(

i definitely miss going to the parks and just sit,talk nonsense, roll around at the grasses ( yes haddy and i can do this and we dont care if people stare at us )

(one of the pictures when we tak kisah pasal dunia we just baring at the grasses,this was marina barrage,first month! )

i remember haddy and i would make time to go to beaches and unwind. we would buy macdonalds and be fat and then we talked & talked and enjoy the breeze and then we will create stupid words among ourselves that only the both of us understands. example, we created this idea of trying to laugh LALALALA instead of HAHAHAHA cos we wanna have a different laughter from other people. yes, thats how silly we are.

(this was at west coast park, we were trying our best to catch the sunset but failed yet still fun! )

and i remember he will always give me silly text messages randomly that makes me laugh and i would smile to myself after i wake up and it makes me so happy. i remember he gave me a 7 page text message of i love you jamilah! and when i read that i was smiling and perangai mentel for a few minutes upon reading that. i remember he would sometimes give me random messages of how much he misses me and he hopes to see me really soon and jump around together when certain weeks we were so caught up with plans made in advance with other friends hence we couldnt get the time to meet.

i remember we love to make acronyms to describe the both of us. one of it was asal boleh couple. good timing that when we created that the both of us fell sick at the same time. so we came up with a.b.c.d = Asal Boleh Couple Demam. omg thinking about this, it makes me laugh. yes the both of us are still asal boleh.

why am i reminiscing this? cos i miss this. i really do. i miss going really simple dates such as these. i dont want gifts, i dont wanna go eat anywhere fancy. dates as these would already make me entirely happy. and i meant it.

(annoying but he makes me laugh just being a nenek tua)

sometimes i wish i can turn back time and have all this happy moments back :( sometimes i wish i can have this really fun silly boyfriend of mine again.

2011-07-07T04:47:00.003+08:00

im home since 3am. one of the moments im back home late due to work. (actually work ended at 1am but me and my nonsense junk intake at late hours that i asked my work friends whether they would like to have macdonalds with me) and i bought chocolate melts (new cinnamon melts) and i declare, its not that bad. definitely not as sweet as cinammon melts.

so im the only person at home now still wide awake,probably its the sugar rush from the chocolate melts. chocolates makes me feel better, even if its a temporary satisfaction.

lately ive been needing someone to listen to my rants but i guess i couldnt find anyone at the moment to actually hear me out. not about problems but about how my life passes by and talking about things that are out of topic but still something to talk about.

has anyone of you ever felt this way? felt that no matter how many people you can actually count on, really at the end of the day, its only you by your own? cos i am feeling this way at the moment.

2011-07-06T01:34:00.003+08:00

im finally transferring photos from my dslr to my laptop. next is to find time to upload the photos as the photos are of big files, surely its gonna take my time to wait for them to finish upload.

i am feeling hopeless. no,not cos of love. i feel hopeless cos as we grow older,i realize we never change, we all slowly drift apart to be on our own lives.

we = friends.

i miss random meet-ups. i miss big gatherings. i miss stay-overs. i miss alot of things with friends.

what has happen?

haddy keo aqma!

2011-07-04T01:30:00.003+08:00

when i love someone,i love them deep and sincerely. and i will always see the person as my world,my joy and my true happiness.

2 years 2 months with you and its still you that makes me head over heels. i think im the only one who understands what makes me happy being with you. ive never regret the mistakes we've made,the arguments we had,the times we've cried. ive never regret knowing you and ive never regret being with you. and ive never regret sticking through whatever with you till today.

<3 you haddy! many more years please! :)

2011-06-25T00:27:00.001+08:00

That’s the problem with us. We’re both stubborn asses and always want to get our way. We both hate to be wrong and love to be right. But that’s the thing about love. No matter what happens, we always come back for each other, one more time. - the notebook.

2011-06-11T11:38:00.002+08:00

sheesha yesterday with the girls.

will update more tonight. for now i need to get my butt out from my house or else i will not cut my hair. dont know which plans to go to with friends, havent agree to anyone of them yet but most probably might stick with family today. i miss my family. (well one thing my family would be surprised why im staying home with them on a saturday. usually saturday for me or to them is = tak tau duduk rumah)

okay have a good saturday everyone.

2011-06-10T16:40:00.003+08:00

i was reading a short article online about us girls when this quote caught my eye.

"its important to know whats on a girl's mind. you may never know how they feel to things. casually ask, in a way, she will know that you didnt forget about her and this small gestures will let her know that you really care"

its important for the guys especially to know whats on a girls mind. at times, we girls couldnt help but to think out of the box to things and its the guys part to ensure us that everything will be fine, we shouldnt be thinking too much. hey, even when the guys think too much, we girls too should do likewise.

i have a lot going through my mind. but i keep some things that upset me to myself till a point whereby i couldnt hold on to it anymore,then will i only let it out. sometimes i wish the guy i love would be attentive towards how i feel to things but i know i cant depend on him too much. and high expectation kills.

oh well.

2011-06-10T01:27:00.006+08:00

there are other million people you single people can be with. dont choose the one whose already in love. screw the home-wreckers and screw to the partners in the relationship for being unfaithful and fooling around with this home-wreckers _|_

let the ones in a relationship have a love of their own. be a human being with values and respect at the least.

( and before people reading this jump to conclusions,this post has nothing to do with my relationship. haddy and i are perfectly fine, yes haddy and i are still together. reason why we dont expose it on facebook or any social site except twitter is cos we or maybe he prefer people asking it from us /him. plus facebook has too many connections, need to get away from facebook and not feel so cluttered. :/ )

a good explanation to this not so needed post is cos i cant let myself to fall asleep. alright now really, sweetest dreams.

2011-06-10T01:26:00.001+08:00

well girls, now we know NOT ALL brotips are to good use. boys, use your brotip wisely. and mean them. ;)

last day of attachment.

2011-06-10T00:42:00.002+08:00

finally the day that ive been looking forward to is here. today is the last day of my attachment. the past 2 months of being an intern in an IT distributing company challenges me to be patient. not to be patient with the people but to be patient with the workload. just like cotton on, you have to be fast paced. and since im used to cotton on hence i got the hang of this within a week. but im not liking whatever im doing to be honest cos well, im not the admin,paperwork kind of person. i like paperwork providing that i can get out of the office and not stay in an office and grow my ass. and if you are wondering what the hell is jamilah mentioning about IT distributing company. let me put it this way. provider > distributor > retailer. yes, warehouses that we have provides us with the goods, we distribute the items to retailers that work with us to sell the items. items such as laptops, apple products,lenovo,HP, any IT products, you request,we process,we deliver. now, you're getting the picture?

but hey different people have different views on their career path. i like events. appealed for events management three times but to no avail cos priorities are more to the n/o level kids. and they say ITE its my choice, yeah right. of cos, this wont stop me to pursue what i love doing. after i graduate, i would definitely find my ways to pursue my studies on events management. even if i dont get events, im happy with tourism. anything not related with IT, engineering or admin course, i will be cool with it.

so to people who got their desired course but are complaining about the workload, appreciate it while this last. you are pursuing to what you love doing. so be thankful you are in your desired course. some people for example me, are dying to go to our desired course. its not our fault that we didnt get to our desired course. its not that i didnt work hard enough to get in. maybe its not my fate,yet.

sweetest dreams everyone.

2011-06-06T19:55:00.003+08:00

dont hold on to anger if you're mad or hurt. it will waste your strength and love. let the anger go. forgive,breathe and love again.

please forgive me.

2011-06-01T02:07:00.002+08:00

decided to reactivate back comment section. you can comment anything after the end of my post. okay,fill me in.

2011-06-01T01:54:00.003+08:00

i miss this masam boy. it sucks cos attachment takes up my whole weekdays and his nursing school is taking up his weekdays too and the only time we meet is during weekends. sometimes we dont even get to meet for a week cos hes busy studying for tests/exams. #lifeofanurse and #lifeofanadult. sucks being an intern,sucks for him to be a nurse but its his dream so doesnt suck for him but sucks for me cos i always miss him! urgh, come on 2 years, take haddy away from ITE! he is a smart boy! he can progress to poly!

how i can still survive being in this relationship? patience and endure. i mean, if its for the better of his future, why not right? a bit of bumps along the way of this routine but i know we can make it through. i miss the old fun crazy haddy. now its just tired sleepy haddy :(

99.1 percent of his energy is spent on school. hurhur :( even when we text at night,he will fall asleep halfway through messaging. cant wait to have the old recharged haddy. i wanna run around and do crazy things with him again.

2011-06-01T01:37:00.003+08:00

before mirza came to my life, kids annoy me. i cant stand them cry, i cant stand them being whiny, i cant stand them running around. it frustrates me to see them out of control! but ever since mirza came, ive changed my overall mindset on kids. i love kids, i adore them,i love them like my own child. and though sometimes mirza may be one tough baby to handle considering how he loves to run around and be stubborn, i still love this precious baby. if hes not around at home, house would be so quiet. if hes around, i can hear screaming,laughing,crying, seeing a small human being rolling around at home freely. i love to come home in such lively atmosphere. it puts me to smile seeing a small human being just smiling back at me.

its amazing how now i can see him walk,run and even jump. i remember i use to carry him around my arms and now tak tercarry! he can say simple words like ayam,ayah,big wheel, fish, shoe,no, baby, choochoo(sound of train) and he calls me lah. it is really comforting yet alittle annoying at the same time when you're about to close your eyes on your bed and you hear a baby running to your room screaming lah lah lah lah lah lah! and i will go ahhhhhh yes what you want baby?!

im treasuring every moment seeing mirza growing up. i just hope he doesnt grow up too fast :( hes too innocent to face this cruel world. i want him to enjoy every fun freely self as a baby.

2011-06-01T01:33:00.002+08:00

haddy khairul aqma! before i turn u into a panda lets watch this!
your argument is invalid!

Feels so good - acoustic hotel room session by Nadia Ali and Eller van B...

2011-05-26T17:05:00.001+08:00

the fact that the song sounds amazing even on acoustic makes me hooked to this song even more!

hug from behind.

2011-05-26T11:39:00.001+08:00

what i would like to do to haddy when i meet him during this weekend.
haddy - chandler me - joey.

museum!

2011-05-25T23:09:00.005+08:00

it was one of the previous weeks of saturday in this month of may that i brought haddy out to the national museum. 1) he has been so caught up with school 2) he deserve a few hours break hence the random trip to the museum. why museum if you wonder. well 1) i wanna go there 2) haddy has never been to any museum so its a good oppurtunity to have his first trip there 3) its aircon and if theres aircon = happy haddy. no rimas haddy and i dont have to deal with "PANAS LAH!" :3 sorry haddy.

eventually it was haddy who learned alot more about the history of singapore and other exhibitions held more than me. he took it more seriously. i read informations less, snap pictures more. he snap pictures less, reads informations more. there was one exhibition whereby we were given a headset and a device for us to understand more about singapore history gallery. haddy took it and went to every room of the gallery while listening to the headset. i didnt took the device so haddy became my translator and telling me what was the particular gallery about in every room. juls and mals joined in halfway and it was nice to see juls! after everything, haddy and i had to leave to catch for our 6plus movie - fast and furious. the best movie watched thus far,no doubt to that.

after the movie,it was borders for comic reading. i love to hang out at borders,just sitting at the corners of the bookstore, legs stretch out and read. nicest thing done with haddy. (before that we played hide and seek at the store. haddy shocked me when he scared me from behind, jahat :( )

then cabbed home since it was close to midnight and i was lazy to take the bus. i asked haddy if he didnt mind me paying the cab fare for us to head home and he was okay with me paying and so we head home #likeaboss (twitter addict much i am)

the device i was talking about!

kakak nursing and abang nursing listening to lee kuan yew. ( #nochoicegottosupportgovernmentinordertokeeptheirjob)

comics that we read!

deadmau5

2011-05-23T14:16:00.003+08:00

feeling rather bored at work so im gonna squeeze in an update. May month has been eventful. from movies to my 2 years with haddy to deadmau5 to national museum with haddy.

i shall break this post and post more when i fully get pictures.

on friday 6 MAY 2011, i went to deadmau5 concert and hell i did not regret going cos its definitely the best event for me. from the lightings,motion graphics, the music, you just dance and dance and admire the men with the mouse head.

i first know deadmau5 from cotton on cd when i started working at cotton on. australians have a wide range of music so i fell in love with deadmau5 - i remember. i got so hooked to the song that at work i would repeat the song over just to listen to that track.

EL, who is also haddy's keyboardist and adir's cousin actually had the oppurtunity to meet with deadmau5 and have coffee at starbucks with deadmau5 and his girlfriend. from what he told me, hes a humble guy and love his girlfriend damn much. aww. :) ( the girlfriend is one of the playboy bunny by the way.)

a few pictures from the event.

THE MAN WITH THE MOUSE HEAD! I FREAKING LOVE THIS GUY!

people who were there will only understand how amazing the concert was. looking forward to deadmau5 coming singapore again! *salute!

things that i need to get.

2011-05-11T13:01:00.003+08:00

ive been trying to get this tribal look cardigan. and still searching. will not stop searching.

2011-05-11T11:42:00.002+08:00

its been a month since i had my attachment and as much as im enjoying the free breakfast early morning but i cant wait to be back in school, skipping classes, working back at cotton on. singapore sale is gonna start soon and i can already feel the pressure of us racking up till late morning. but i will definitely enjoy all that cos thats what make us workmates grow closer.

anyway, ive been grabbing hold of friends for meet ups cos i cant be forever busy and not meeting up with people. i admit, im making use the time in my life to work rather than going out cos well, im a shopaholic, i buy things without second thoughts. which leads me to getting broke easily :x

alright,back to attachment work for me. 6 more hours to go till my day from work ends. sigh.

2011-04-20T09:14:00.004+08:00

for some who might not know that it has been 2 weeks since i started my attachment. not what i expected my attachment to be cos i am doing admin work instead of IT related stuff. sure that paperwork has something to do with IT parts but urmmm, seriously, im not office skill kind of person. I HATE EXCEL. EXCEL is my enemy. i really would like to change my attachment but my teacher is mind fucking me to stay.

anyway, my purpose to blog is because ive done all paperwork being told to do so and i really would like to kill time in this office. hence it came to my thought that i havent been blogging. i dont see the purpose to blog if i am always busy but you know its good to have a blog most of the time cos words that are impossible to say, its easier to be type it out.

alright alright. not to bore you even more, heres what i found while i was reading about celebrity news online today ( yes i am that bored hence i am reading celebrity gossip )

father is handsome much? same goes with the children? handsome much. when they are older, i can see this 3 becoming a playboy or something. but seriously, how can you not resist not looking at them? the whole family is too good looking! even the mother is fucking hot! i am envying this beautiful family.

alright this are all wild fantasy that will never come true for me. back to reality. back to papers. back to office. urgh.

2011-04-08T10:47:00.003+08:00

starting from monday i will be having my attachment, in another words, im gonna be an intern for 3 months. one thing that questions me everyday, if im gonna do IT-related stuff, like IT helpdesk support, why must i wear office wear?

im not ready for office hours work but im gonna push myself to do this cos well urmmm,i have to. if it werent for my grades i will give the im always late for work attitude. but i cant be late for work and that sucks cos im not used to coming work way early in the morning.

ahhhh its only the start and i cant wait for my 2nd year of ITE to end. 2011 please end fast.

and my prayers are to the people of japan. twice of natural disaster happening to them. god, please have mercy on us.

2011-04-05T14:32:00.002+08:00

its been a week since i update.

well,the past 1 week, i have been going out every single day (except on sunday cos i was so lazy to get my ass out) saturday's flea market at SCAPE was a disappointment. all that i could grab were just accessories.

movies i have watched lately, FASTER. well, its a drag at the start but gets interesting in the end cos the ending has a twist to it.

places ive went to during the 1 week; singapore national museum with juliescary and adam zoso. it was rather unplanned but i had a great time there and together with them as well! its quite of a good adventure about singapore's history.

what else? yes, urmmm, for people who know me, i will give my ass off when it comes to cotton on. i will work like one workaholic. but lately, ive been pushing myself away from work. no,its not the people there, its not my managers, i came to a conclusion that im tired of working there. cotton on isnt a place whereby you can call up your manager saying, hey i cant work today. and then the managers will be okay with it. if you cant work, you need to find someone to replace you, and if you cant find any replacement, you have to work and its of no choice. unless you have a MC or a relative or family related passed away, then you're allowed to not work even if you dont have a replacement. in cotton on you have to be committed, you have to give your 100% to it. i do am giving my 100% but its tiring. its getting more and more fast paced as time goes by.
im only one human being, i only have 2 hands to get stuffs done.

hence,still working at cotton on, i am searching around for other jobs, something more relax, retail-related of cos, some place whereby i can work at the same time sit down when there's no customers and get some studying done.

oh well, i would like to have some relaxation before i start work for closing later.

oh yes, i will never get sick of arnolds chicken. yums.

03. My Love - Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveShow

2011-03-29T02:20:00.001+08:00

i honestly would still choose him over bruno mars. sorry B.M.

justin timberlake is the sex. my sex.

watch the videos!

Maddi Jane

2011-03-28T04:57:00.000+08:00

maddi jane is way better than rebecca black. its either the music producers are tone deaf to not be able to differentiate between these 2 girls talents. pekak badak ke per music producer zaman sekarang?! son of a gun betul.

2011-03-28T01:55:00.004+08:00

there, i watched them perform at esplanade waterfront bay on saturday together with julie :) afterwhich murtabaks for brunch at bugis.

hey you,boy in red. (hugs boy in red and run away shyly,teeeheee)

this is what haddy always do to me whenever i wanna cuddle.

okay work later.

(one of those days whereby im lazy to post in detail)

2011-03-26T01:15:00.003+08:00

what am i suppose to do when the best part of me was always you and,
what am i suppose to say when im all choke up and you're okay
im falling to pieces
im falling to pieces

to haddy's band,spicy fries, all the best for baybeat's audition later! you guys made it to round 1 till the final round of this audition! ahhh i hope you guys get through, if you do i will go braless for a day,promise!

O-M-G, they're the one auditioning,im the one feeling so anxious.

breakeven.

2011-03-26T01:06:00.004+08:00

in the evening few hours ago after work, i decided to meet up with haddy. we had dinner at tong seng before proceeding to ceneleisure in luck to see whether the red bag that ive been eyeing on is in stock and thankfully,it did! so bought it without any second thoughts. i was a happy girl jumping around with the bag. then, we made our way to forever 21 and they are having a slash in prices for their items and so me and forever 21 = trying on clothes. the queue was long and so haddy had to wait for me. poor boy got agitated of waiting but he waited without any complain and im happy he did! bought a top and 3/4 shorts, me is happy after that. walked to ion and aimlessly walk around the mall. had non stop conversations with haddy and hugged him too many times! then we sat outside ion steps,he smoked and we both sang the script - breakeven together-gether. after he finished his cigg, train to bugis, he went jamming while i decided to bus home. thanks for the day haddy, appreciate it very much! :) and yes im lazy to paragraph my post for today so happy reading this one whole post kthxbai! teehee.

galatica.

2011-03-25T01:18:00.002+08:00

FUCKING LOVE THE GALATICA LEGGINGS. FUCK.

picture source : lookbook.nu

2011-03-24T03:06:00.002+08:00

really adore my boy who sleeps at 5am and wakes up at 10pm and steadily thinks its still okay to wake up in the hours like that despite wasting a full day sleeping.

macam nak mintak kena hug sampai dia breathless like that.

dress!

2011-03-24T03:00:00.003+08:00

rare moment of me wanting to post a picture of myself here.

despite being really shagged from work,i felt happy in the end at work. its always fun to work at retail sometimes. you treat work as a place for you to shop. so while i was neating the clothes on the sales wall, i found the dress above. and its something that i want,simple and more of me. and so there wasnt any price tag hence i decided to check on the price of the dress. and what do you know, its only going at $5 and best part is its the only piece and its my size. teehee. what i love about the dress is it has frills on the shoulder.

sometimes you gotta give a hands down to cotton on for their fucking cheap sales. when i say its cheap, i really mean cheap.

keo.

2011-03-23T02:33:00.002+08:00

my tuesday was spent with haddykeoaqma (am too used with putting this name on twitter) so im gonna bullet whatever we did today.

took bus 7 to town
bought tickets at cineleisure to diary of a whimpy kid 2
bought famous amous cookies
he smoked, i munch
then we walked around cineleisure to kill few minutes of time
bought hotdog bun and ice lemon tea before entering cinema
watch movie,eat hotdog bun and cookies
drink
watch
laugh
i hug haddy to have more warmth (BEST)
show ended (nice and cute movie by the way)
randomly bought ourselves matching red pencil casing
reserved my red duck bag and collecting it this friday ( YAY ONE WISH FURFILLED )
ate at kfc
bumped to haddy's friend
haddy smoked with his friend after eating
i amazed myself with movie trailers
we window shopped
went to uniqlo and haddy try on pants, he didnt like it
sat outside 313
we talked and talked like one mak neneks
took bus home
i love today cos we wear red shoes together
we overall are fat and cool

alright, summarized. now work 2.30 to close later :(

must have.

2011-03-22T00:38:00.006+08:00

things that i would love to get for the next 1 month.

gonna start saving money slowly.

things i did today.

2011-03-21T23:35:00.003+08:00

ive been bumming all day long today. so right now i am recapping whatever ive did today. lets see, i woke up at 12, wash my face, brush my teeth, facial wash my face, went to the living room to watch cartoons with my nephew. and time passes it was 3pm. so i made maggie for my brunch. then i laze in bed and accidentally slept till about 5.30. so then i decided to bathe at 6, got a text message from haddy and i texted him. i decided to irritate my nephew so i made him cry when i hit him with a bolster. then i still wasnt satisfied so i decided to pinch his legs till he cries again. then i was a little satisfied. then i decided to call my facialist to make an appointment since its been months i last went for facial. after that, i decided to have dinner. mum cooked fish curry - errr great. and i did not want to complain so i decided to eat them up since i was hungry. still texting haddy after i bathed till now.

and im still bumming in bed as i typed this while texting haddy and nutella with bread beside me. while many other people are having their monday blues, i am enjoying my monday. im not gonna complain.

we dont sleep when the sun goes down.

2011-03-21T02:30:00.003+08:00

yes, i realized the gap of the last update i had. i admit, ever since school holidays started, i am always out and about, not caring about this space. how can i not be happy? year 1 of ite is done, work isnt hectic as before, ive more time to spend with friends, my guy version of me - adir has left for NS (police), i threw haddy a birthday party surprise, i am going back on track with social life.

anyway, i realized the gain in weight i had. if you dont believe me, i can by all means of you to go way back in time on my facebook photos, look at the old and the current. my cheeks fatten abit, my arms are a bit bigger, i have a belly guys and im proud to have it. honestly i do.

i choose to gain weight. i have difficulty of gaining weight and now that i am, how can i not feel happy? i dont support the idea of girls being so wary of their weight, as long as you get the right portion of food to eat at every meal, i dont see anything else as much of a deal. be proud of your body girls! feel good about yourselves :)

things have slowed down and i want life to go on this way for me. not much of fast paced in life, just smooth sailing.

and to the people in japan, my prayers are for you.

okay gonna flood haddy with tons of messages.

Adrian Lux - Teenage Crime (Official Video)

2011-03-12T10:53:00.000+08:00

EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER! I AM DONE FOR MY YEAR 1 OF ITE! :D ANOTHER 1 YEAR MORE TO GO AND ITS OVER AND DONE WITH ITE. IM GONNA MAKE USE OF MY HOLIDAYS TO MEET UP WITH PEOPLE. I MISS MY FRIENDS TREMENDOUSLY. IVE BEEN LACKING BEHIND TOO MUCH STUFF WITH FRIENDS. ANYWAY,VID ABOVE IS CURRENT ADDICTION.

MHKA,LOVE U. :)

2011-03-02T19:55:00.003+08:00

i will be back for a more proper update next week about my life. as much as i wanna blog about lots of things, i need to hold all the feelings and thoughts. im having exams now. sucks while other people are having their holidays i am just starting with exams.

i miss work. i miss 7008 team. i wanna be back at work as soon as possible. i miss laughing with the crazy workmates and having ridiculous conversations all day long.

Spicy Fries - Love Like This

2011-02-16T00:07:00.003+08:00

take some time to enjoy yourself with this video from my very own assholic friend band,adir kaisan - SPICY FRIES :)

yes here you can see the whole band,
syafiq ( syafroons ) on the drums
ismael ( also known as EL on keyboard )
adir ( lead guitarist and singer )
malek ( bassist )
and yes haddy khairul aqma, ( rap )

i really like the graphics and illustrations in this video. yes this is what im gonna learn in my year 2. good luck to me.

support them, like on their facebook page, get more updates from the band, all on the link below,

SPICY FRIES

i would like to tell you guys in advance though that be prepared to be flooded with haddy haddy haddy and haddy in this video. watch and you will understand,haha.

innocence.

2011-02-15T23:55:00.004+08:00

too many things going around me, but school weigh on me the most. i have a few weeks left till end of year 1. really, how time flies really fast. ive decided that im not gonna continue school after higher nitec if my overall results arent satisfying. i want to work. living in singapore, without money, its really hard to survive.

miss my friends. all of them. i need time to meet up with everybody. but seems like time forbids me to.

Jamie Foxx - Fall For Your Type ft. Drake

2011-02-07T04:38:00.000+08:00

fell in love with this song.

baby you're a challenge.

2011-02-04T00:38:00.003+08:00

i still cant believe it that i had to work on a chinese new year. i had an argument with my parents earlier on about work. my parents thought i was lying when i told them i had work. they presume it was an excuse of mine not to go kl as they wanted to drag me to kuala lumpur. when i told them i had work, they accuse me of lying. i got so pissed that i yelled at the both of them for being so unreasonable. and the both of them went quiet. i felt guilty after that for yelling but i tried my best to explain to them that i had work and its no joke that cotton on isnt closed on chinese new year. they just dont seem to understand.

parents, one moment they can be really understanding and cool, the next moment they can be so horribly unreasonable.

im gonna sleep again and wake up for work in the morning later.

and also, gonna head to work again during night time cos today is the last day of work for this woman. yes, shes resigning. :( im sad cos we went through cotton on together. but oh well, then again she cant be staying in this work line for long. she has to venture to other jobs too. i wish her all the best :)

but i still feel sad. shes the best manager ever. :( cant believe shes leaving. no more naughty nathasha,no more smiles of hers at work. no more hugs or manja from her :(

bruno mars cover california gurls.

2011-02-03T03:35:00.001+08:00

BABY WHY WHEN YOU SING YOU MAKE MY HEART MELT?

THIS IS A DIFFERENT SIDE OF CALIFORNIA GIRLS THAT I WOULD NEVER THOUGHT OF LAH. OH MY GOD. NICE.

2011-02-03T02:09:00.002+08:00

work earlier on from 2.30 to close was lets face it, challenging. i had to be at cashier and kept repeating the same thing over and over - "the second piece would be at 50% yah,we only count equal price to first piece or lower price from first piece as the 50%,alright? cool?"

but crowd started to die down at about 7.30pm. so we the people in store decided to take this oppurtunity to clean up the store. sucks much cos we're the only retail store open for that level. and we still open as normal for chinese new year. its crazy, cotton on is out of their mind i can say. who goes shopping on chinese new year?! none! everyone would presume alot of retail outlets would be closed. but no, we are open. from 10 am to 10pm.

so anyone of you out there who wants to shop peacefully or do exchange of items, chinese new year is a good day to come by our store.

im gonna get some sleep. work at 5 to close later. but heading work earlier to fool around since i have nothing much to do at home anyway. im home alone. parents are away till sunday.

2011-02-03T01:57:00.003+08:00

though this boy annoys me 24/7 but i miss him when hes not at home. i miss him annoying me. he will be out to kuala lumpur with my parents till sunday. yes at the age of 1 year plus old and my parents are bringing him to kuala lumpur, how pampered can he be? till today i always say to him, " mirza you are so lucky your grandparents here are loving you like crazy and has never scold you before. you know if i were to take care of you all you get from me are yells and screams. why are you so irritating?!"

im gonna miss mirza, im gonna miss him saying "mamam" which means eat whenever he sees me munching something. and im gonna miss him calling me "ehhhh" cos he doesnt know how to pronounce my name. ( told you annoying right this boy. annoyingly cute i can say )

screwed.

2011-02-02T03:24:00.003+08:00

this is how my hair looks like at the moment in bed. i cant sleep, school's at 8.30, i have work from 2.30 to close later, i fucking need to sleep but i cant. fuck i think im giving school a miss. what should i wear for work later. and im having karaoke webcam sessions on skype. what the fuck am i doing?

miss this assholic guy. though im always seeing him at work but we rarely get to talk at work. with fucked up customers we got to entertain to, and me stuck at cashier, we rarely communicate. i need yoghurt session with this guy. miss you adir.

robbie rivera - departures.

2011-02-01T15:53:00.001+08:00

the beginning of the end
i see it so clear in your eyes
i can't believe this is the end
won't you give it one more try

you know i always told myself
i wouldn't make the same mistake
but as you close the door to me
i hear the sound of my heart break

once again i'm tired of waiting
for my happy ever after
i see your heart encased in glass
you're already in departures
you're already in departures

2011-02-01T14:45:00.003+08:00

i know i have been updating irregularly, but if you would like to know what i have been up to, heres the place you should go.

TWITTER.

here you can see all my complains, my rants, my thoughts. even if its less than 140 characters.

2011-02-01T14:42:00.001+08:00

missing this sense of belonging.

2011-02-01T04:07:00.002+08:00

whats me without you.
:(

one more try.

2011-02-01T03:21:00.003+08:00

my weekends are with them.

wisdom tooth.

2011-01-27T23:19:00.003+08:00

at the age of 20 and for this year of 2011, im gonna do something to myself and for the better of me. yes, im gonna go for a wisdom tooth extraction.

questions.

am i scared?
not really.

what are my feelings to this?
really nervous.

am i hoping for a female or male doctor?
doesnt matter as long as they are gentle and experienced.

hows the feeling like to have a wisdom tooth currently?
really discomforting. imagine having something stuck at the back of your mouth and its never coming out. and it sores alot too. makes it difficult to eat.

which dentist are you gonna go?
am still trying the one at tampines, near afghan. if not im just gonna go straight to where my dad does his dental check-ups somewhere at tanjong pagar.

right now i just cant wait to get my wisdom tooth out. i was thinking of going through the general anesthetic, the one that puts you to sleep during the operation of the extraction. i dont wish to go through the local anesthesia ( the one which injects to your gums and numbs your whole mouth and you wont feel anything. but for this you will stay conscious during the operation ) cos im kind of faint hearted to see needles and the thought of a needle injected through my gums is freaking me out. mum says im dramatic and told me to go through the local anesthesia ( the injected anesthesia ) but dad says if im afraid, dont take the risk and just go for a general anesthetic.

click on the link below to explain to you more about wisdom tooth extraction. dont worry its animated and nothing gory about it.

WISDOM TOOTH EXTRACTION PROCESS.

here in the video you can see how my wisdom tooth is positioned at the back of my mouth. its slunted and really its no joke when i say it sores my gums alot. one of the reasons why i have been cutting down on my food intake lately is due to wisdom tooth. it hassles me alot to eat, i have to bite at one side of my mouth instead of using both sides of my mouth.

i will blog about my experience to the extraction as soon as i get it done and over with.
for now, i am gonna endure with this pain feeling in my mouth :(

isolation.

2011-01-26T01:17:00.002+08:00

i love doing this.

i love to isolate myself from people and then reappear back suddenly. it makes me have a time of my own doing my own things and then present myself back to life to socialize.

im still doing good, getting good with school and getting happier :)

dont wanna try.

2011-01-21T10:45:00.002+08:00

friday morning and frankie j is my favourite muse for today.

weekends, you are the most wonderful thing that is happening to my life.

2011-01-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

Let’s face it, we’ve changed. We’ve all changed. Somewhere between school ending and school starting. We’ve all gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken and friendships were fucked over. New loves started, and new people came into our lives. We no longer hang-out with our circle of friends that we thought that was going to be there for us “forever”. We no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We’ve all changed. Some for the better and some for the worse.